My daughter: “Why aren’t you excited by your birthday, daddy?”
Me: “Well, honey, daddy is going to turn forty-eight. That means I will be fifty soon. I didn’t mind turning forty, but I think turning fifty is going to be a little hard for me.”
My daughter: “But I’ll still be young!”
There comes a time in every man’s life … oh, let’s cut to the chase:
I was trying to repair our lawn mower when I realized that I was faced with the conundrum of aging: if I got close enough to examine a bolt hole for stripped threads, I couldn’t see the threads clearly; if I got far enough away to see the threads clearly, I was no longer close enough to see the threads clearly.
Alas, my eyes are older and in need of augmentation. AKA “cheaters.”
So off we went to Albertson’s for a grocery run and to stop by the pharmacy section for me to pick up a pair of reading glasses. There wasn’t a wide selection of styles, but what there was came in various prescriptions, and I wasn’t quite sure what would work. I decided to work from the lowest to the highest and see what worked.
As I tried on the first pair of glasses, I realized I needed something to look at or to read that would give me a reasonable real-life test. The little side-of-the-end-cap display for the glasses had nothing there, so I reached to pick up a box on the shelf nearby. (Remember, this is the pharmacy section of the store.) What I grabbed was a box of *K-Y Jelly*.
So, there I stood in the middle of Albertson’s alternately putting on a different pair of reading glasses and then peering at a box of *K-Y Jelly*.
Yung could not stop laughing.