Status:

It turns out that [StackOverflow is not all that friendly](http://stackoverflow.com/questions/11090292/break-text-file-into-multiple-text-files), or at least the subset that decided to close the question I had asked. (You’d think you could only close a question if you had either opened it or tried to answer it. Ah, Internet moderation, you are a beast that feeds the self-righteous.)